8 Practical Tips if You're Changing Schools
8 Practical Tips for Students
Moving schools this year is a big change. Whether you’re moving across town or to the other side of the world, this transition can cause emotional tension. As cyclical thoughts of what to expect, how to fit in, and how to prepare creep into the minds and hearts of students, stress and anxiety heightens. The paradox that change is one of life’s never-changing guarantees is a worthwhile reality to tackle—now. While we can’t always prepare for every transition life brings, we can make tangible steps and develop helpful strategies to deal with change when it comes. Changing schools is the challenge now, but we realize that life yields adjustments again and again and so we want to partner with parents as they help their children and teens navigate the hurdle before them. So, we’ve developed a practical guide for children, teens, and parents as they navigate the process of changing schools.
Make a Switch
The neuropsychological responses to anxiety and excitement are closely related. Anxiety is merely excitement tinged with the fear that events will turn out poorly. By understanding how your brain is interpreting the upcoming event, reframe the dialogue and intentionally replace “anxiety” with “excitement” as often as you can. It may seem awkward or stilted at first, but ultimately, you will retrain your brain to recognize that it is supposed to enjoy this anticipation of starting at a new school.
Create Potential Scenarios
When students are uncertain of what will happen in the future, they tend to crate more anxiety by imaging awful things that could happen—they don’t do well in classes, they don’t make the sports team, they don’t make friends easily, etc. This negative self-talk can spiral even naturally self-confident students into an anxious and fearful state. Encourage your student to imagine what can go right—by leaning on his/her natural strengths. Brainstorm ways your student might contribute to a new school’s culture.
Make Space
Change means that you give something up in lieu of getting something new. Recognize this trade-off and create an open dialogue with your student to discuss what is being lost with this move. Old teachers, old friendships, old school buildings, old neighborhoods, old city—all these things will be left behind and that can be devastating. Make sure students feel safe and comfortable to vulnerably share how they’re feeling. Remind them that if they’re sad about leaving these elements behind, it’s actually a positive reaction—it means that they have had a worthwhile and beneficial experience in their current school environment.
Adjust Your Attitude
Having the right attitude about change is key to smooth transitions. However, if students don’t have the proper mindset, developing a positive attitude can be difficult to achieve. Research has proven that the key elements that need to be at the forefront of any conversation navigating positive change are: Clarity, Purpose, and Focus. Talk with your student about why the school change is happening—and how your family came to the decision to switch schools. Cast vision on how you believe will benefit from a change in academic environment. Define the purpose of overall academic achievement, inclusion, and contentment that a new school brings. Finally, begin with the end in mind and structure your family conversations accordingly to refine your student’s focus, making necessary modifications regularly.
Identify What’s Important
Help your student identify specific goals. Be as detailed as possible (again, this is dictated by grade and emotional maturity level). Invite your student to create SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goals. Identify immediate SMART goals (what holistic success and contentment would look like in the day-to-day of school), as well as future SMART goals (course offerings, academic rigor, future field of study, university path, and pursued career options). The best leaders lead themselves towards what they value most, not what they want now. This ongoing tension of immediate versus ultimate is a test of self-control. Provide intentional framework around your conversations about school change to help your student truly comprehend that what we want now is rarely what we value most. Conclusively, we can’t lead ourselves well until we discover what we value most. We always know what we want now, but until we do the work of identifying what we value most, we can’t lead ourselves well. Very few people ever stop and discover what they value most—as a result, they settle for what they want now. Don’t allow your student to fall into this trap—they deserves more. Encourage your student to understand that their destination is encircled within their values. Help them reach their goals and in turn, show how the puzzle piece of a new school fits flawlessly into their life roadmap.
Make a Strategic Plan
Involve your students as much as you feel comfortable into the conversation of developing a strategic plan (a lot of this is dictated by student’s age and emotional maturity level). By affirming the fact that both you and your student are on the same team working towards the same goal, your student will eventually work alongside side you—rather than in opposition to you.
Do Your Homework
Involve your student as much as possible in the school admissions conversation. Discuss some factors that are important to your student’s definition of holistic success—the existence of a particular extracurricular club, course offerings, school rankings, global service opportunities, leadership positions, and athletic teams. Invite your student into a safe and supportive dialogue where you consistently reiterate the truth that you are all on the same team.
Take a Tour
Many schools offer personal and group tours. Contact the admissions offices at schools your family is considering and let your student be involved as possible in the process. Schools often pair potential students with a student ambassador—usually of the same grade and gender—to help newcomers acclimate to the school culture.
Take-Aways:
We all want to help our students become the best versions of themselves—academically and emotionally. By fostering the skills above when our students are faced with a looming life change, we are equipping them with the skills they need to be resilient problem-solvers, and critical thinkers.
Encourage your student to memorize this mantra: I will prioritize what I value most over what I want now.