5/5: Parents as Teachers--Self-Care Matters Now More Than Ever
I came across this fabulous article from EdSurge this week! Author Sara Potler LaHayne shared some helpful strategies in her recent piece, “Many Parents Are Now Teachers: Let’s Also Appreciate and Care for Ourselves.” Below are the top 7 tips experts suggest parents consider to encourage self-care, social-emotional development, and resilience—for all members of our family:
1. Make your only goal to arrive on the other side.
Forego assumptions that this time home will mean cleaning the tops of your ceiling fans, finishing years-old baby books or home projects that have never been started. If you get to them, celebrate yourself. But otherwise, let go of any judgment of your parental success during this time.
Naps and bedtimes will likely be more challenging. Learning is definitely not happening in the same way as it is in a school building. We must change the metrics by which we assess our success when so much is out of our control.
2. Understand that children are resilient.
Stressful as this time is, it too shall pass, and we all will come out on the other side. The months that we are homeschooling our children will not ruin them, despite our lack of credentials. Our job as parents is to maintain the health and sanity of our families. We have to be gentle with ourselves. Above all right now our children just need our love.
3. Build in micro moments for your own inquiry.
When we’re constantly caring for others, it’s difficult to even identify or be aware of what we’re feeling ourselves. Meditation may be overwhelming right now, but even if it’s 10 minutes in the morning, try to find some silence to sit with your own feelings and thoughts. A stream of consciousness free write is a great way to excavate thoughts that are clouding our ability to take action or find clarity. If that’s too daunting, try a journal prompt like “I’m going to forgive myself for…” or “I am inspired daily by…”
4. Ask questions and instill boundaries.
Talk with your children about what they are learning and doing on their computers and phones, and decide if limitations or corrections are called for. (They probably are.) If we’re going to have 90 minutes of technology time, try to incorporate a 10-minute movement break. If we’re going to be online for most of the day, try to incorporate a device-free evening where you can play a board game or bake together. Being intentional about device time (for you and for them) can maximize the time together.
5. Breathe.
Breathing is the essence of life. When we are stressed, our brain activates a fight-or-flight response and we often forget to breathe deeply. Breathing nourishes our cells and organs and brings in new life and energy into our body. With each breath we can focus on the moment we are in, instead of letting ourselves get wrapped up in plans or distractions. Breathing allows for movement and for change. Here are some breathing exercises you can try at home.
6. Allow yourself to not be OK.
Most of the world is not okay right now, and as parents we often feel like we have to put on a front for our children. It’s okay to grieve about what you and your families are losing because it is sad.
7. Do you.
We are the best versions of ourselves when we are happy, inspired and full. What are the activities that bring you the most joy? (Baking, running, knitting, lifting weights?) For me, if I don’t dance regularly, my daughters feel my stifled spirit and our time together is void of creativity. This may look differently during a pandemic (read: Zoom dance classes), but prioritizing one activity per week that fills us up exclusively and not our children will yield dividends in the time we spent with them.